The Chemsex Day programme
Message me every morning, with 2 sentences
2. “The reason I'm doing this; the thing that's keeping me motivated is...” Try to be affirmative, rather than negative; eg; “I’m motivated because I don’t want to die” but “I’m motivated by a desire to live”.Do this every day; this is the contract we agree.
3. If you want to CHANGE the contract; if you decide you ARE going to do chems within this 24 hour period (no problem)..
Email me again.
Tell me “Hi David; I’m changing my contract; I’ve decided to do drugs today. I’ve thought about it, reflected upon it; I considered how I’ll feel tomorrow, I’ve considered the cost, I’ve considered other consequences… and I choose to change the contract/do drugs today”
I won’t argue with you.
I won't try to talk you out of it or change your mind.
I won't communicate ANY disappointment, that's not what this is about.
I’ll kindly just acknowledge that you’ve changed the contract, and I'll thank you for honouring the terms of the contract.
The main intention here, is to encourage some cognitive change, right there in that crucial 'decision-making' moment. And repeatedly. In that moment when we are making highly emotional, triggered decisions. Moments when we block out reason, block out a larger goal, block out the consequences, and just crave the high.
Another reason for emailing me right there in that moment, is so there is no ‘failure’, no dishonouring of the contract. When people betray their contract, lapse into drug use, they often feel awful, and that sense of ‘failure adds up, compounds, and becomes a hindrance to the work we are doing together. So spending 30 minutes reflecting on the choice to use drugs, considering the consequences, considering tomorrow morning, and then emailing me a change of contract… means they are not breaking the contract, and there is no sense of failure.
The purpose of this, is this; many decisions we make to use chems, are highly emotional decisions made during a craving, during a trigger moment. The dopamine is firing in anticipation, the "reward" network in our brain is overwhelming normal reasoning. We are deprived of our reasoning, making emotional decisions. This plan strives to place a 'pause' in the middle of that moment. Through repeated exercise, we cognitively retrain our brains to allow calm, reflective decisions to be made in that moment. Take ownership over that 'choice' back.
That's the plan.
That's our contract.
And I commit to being there 7 days a week helping you through this programme, until you feel like you have ownership over your choices again.
If you choose to accept this offer; let me know. It’s a big commitment, but it can be very helpful to those who are feeling like they are losing control of the CHOICE to use drugs.
Email to firstname.lastname@example.org
Happy to help